my favorite poem

There's a cow

. .

on the hill

. . .

It's not there now

. . . .

Must have shifted

Lu Lu Eightball by Emily Flake

A sniglet is defined as a
"word that should be in the dictionary, but isn't"...

(Click on Comic for larger view)

a Dup shout out

Dup finished his last class for his MFA program last night. He turned in his last paper and he had his interview for a TA Position, which he'll start in the Fall so that he can start teaching in the Spring. He took his composition exam (which he passed) and he turned in his Thesis (a beautiful play). So he's like DONE!

I would be understating myself if I said I was proud of him. Dup has worked HARD these past two years. The program isn't insanely intensive or anything but he has been working full time at his day job and then going to class in the evenings and getting up so early to write his plays and his insane 20 page paper and it wasn't easy. The first year flew by and it was difficult for him to get back into it this Fall but he sucked it up and he did it. Not only did he do it but he did it WELL. He did it mindfully and he had a lot of self discovery with his writing and also just about what he was able to accomplish if he forced himself to follow through (i refer back to the 20 page paper).

Not only am I proud of the Dupster but I have an overwhelming sense of gratitude towards him. He got his MFA for himself but he also did it for us, so that he could get out of the office and be happier and also so that we could work out our schedule in a certain way when the baby comes. It's just making things possible for us.

When Dup asked me to marry him he told me that what he really wanted was to have a family. And you know, that's what I wanted too. And now look at us. We are about to have this little family for ourselves and it's so profound to me. I just love this guy.

To Dup! Champion among men and the man of my dreams. Cheers old boy, you did it...

Hands-Free

This is a real thing that exists in the world. You can buy it HERE right now. I just can not believe it. I apologise in advance to any breast pumping moms out there who use this device and love it. I don't mean to make fun of you but ok, yes I'm about to really make fun of you. I just have a few questions. First of all, what the fuck? Second of all... ok there are too many questions. Let's just take a moment to analyse this a la Callaghan:

#1: Her hair.

#2: Where is she exactly? She looks like she is posing at the Sears Portrait Studio. She doesn't work there because she's on her cell. So, maybe her kids are there getting their photos taken and she's getting some work done while that's going on?

#3: Can the person on the other end of the line hear the pump?

#4: Obviously this is a posed shot and she is a "model" for the product. So how much money are they paying her to take this photo wherein not only is she put in this totally humiliating outfit but her stomach roll is hanging over her skirt? Now, I'm all for real body images being portrayed in advertising and if i were sitting upright in a skirt my stomach would roll over like that too (especially after having a kid, hence the breast pumping) but you would have to pay me A LOT of money to take my photo like this. Like a million dollars.

#5: This whole idea really sums up the back lash of women trying to do everything doesn't it? I mean I'm going back to work after I have my baby and I've already bought an electric breast pump and I've already arranged an empty office with blinds where I can go to pump and not be disturbed a few times a day. So I'm for women pumping in the work place people. But when you are feeding your baby you are feeding your baby. From what I understand you need to really concentrate to get the milk to flow when they aren't around too because just being close to your baby and hearing them cry makes the milk come and if they aren't there it can be difficult to produce enough. They even have a little place on the carrying case where you can put a photo of your baby to inspire you. So it just seems like calling someone and taking out your day planner might not help this situation. Again, I've never tried it. My cousin and I were dying laughing over the notion that you might even try and use this device while sitting at your desk in the office in full view of everyone and be all women's lib about it, "THIS IS MY RIGHT! I'M FEEDING MY BABY!" While the pump is making it's little noise and you're typing away at the computer, answering the phone. It would be a great "Kids in the Hall" sketch.

#6: Do you think these things are flying off the shelves? I'm thinking about wiping everything off of my registry and putting just this one single item on there, just to see if anyone buys it for me and who that person would be...

Baby Update.

It’s been a while since I’ve talked about the pregnancy so I thought I’d update you a bit. Things are still going really good. I have the worst acne ever still and some hip/lower back pain but other than that, awesome. I can feel this little dude more than ever now. It seems like he’s constantly moving. More than once, he has kicked me so hard that it woke me up! It doesn’t hurt but it’s the strangest sensation ever. Most of the time he feels like a little fish. We went to our Dr. Appt. last week and the midwife was able to tell me his position. His head was up towards my ribs and his butt was down below my belly button. This was a little disappointing because I was hoping he would just put his head down there and keep it there by now but there’s still plenty of time and he’s turning all around still. She taught me how to feel for his head, which is harder and a little flat and I could feel that his head was down low the next night. I figure, let him spin around while there’s still room to do it.

I’m going to be 30 weeks on Wednesday. 3/4ths of the way. That’s a milestone for sure. The other thing is that IF he was born now, he would have a good chance at survival. Of course we DO NOT WANT THAT as he would have hordes of complications with breathing especially and ... well I don’t need to get into why we wouldn’t want it – it’s obvious. I’m just saying that it’s comforting to know that he could live.

My Doula, who I see about once a week, is really into visualization. We do different exercises but one of my favorites it when we tell Dup Jr. about his birthday. We go through the whole birth and tell him what it is going to be like and what position he should be in to make it easier for us, etc. She likes to be as specific as possible and so she asked me to give him an arrival window. We’ve told him that he can arrive anytime between July 10^th and July 26^th (his due date). I’m concerned about him being late because if he’s more than 7 days late, I can’t give birth in the birthing center (I have to go up to the regular hospital which is fine but I would really rather be in the birthing center where the rooms are bigger and there is a hot tub and the nurses don’t try and talk you into and epidural) and if I’m more than 10 days late, my Dr. will induce me with Pitocin. I really don’t want that because it makes the contractions really strong and often times unbearable and you end up begging for an epidural. So this is the window we’ve given him. Will he listen? Does he have knowledge of our calendar systems here on planet earth? Stay tuned to find out!

In other news, my cousin, who is my best friend and lives in California, has two awesome little boys that are 4 and 7. She and her husband had an “oops” moment earlier this year when they discovered, not too long after I did, that they were preggo with #3. They were a little shocked (even though, yes, they know how these things happen) but in the end very excited to have one more little guy in their family. My cousin and I are especially excited to have little guys that are so close in age and we hope they will be as close as we are. WELL GUESS WHAT?! She and her husband found out last night that they are having twins. Oh my god people. Not only are they having twins but they are having TWIN BOYS. Two little boys in there. What are the freaking chances? It’s insane. I’m having a boy. She has two boys already. Her brother has two boys. My sister has a boy and a girl. She has the only girl. We have boys coming out of our freaking ears here. It’s like a penis brigade. A testosterone extravaganza. I mean really people, can you even imagine what her bathroom is going to look like? Those little guys just pee on everything.

Last night I dreamed that Eve sent me a letter with a photo of what she looked like when she was 30 weeks pregnant so that I could compare it to what I looked like. It seemed that I had requested this letter. It was written on lavender stationery. Eve, if you’re reading this, what advice do you have for my cousin? I’m sure that she would appreciate any you could give her. Although you must be thanking your lucky chucky stars right now that you only have 3 little ones and they are girls. Maybe you shouldn’t give her advice after all....

The good news is that my cousin is really, really strong. I mean REALLY strong. Also, she’s a fantastic mother and she loves being a mother. Honestly, if anyone is up for this challenge it is her. Both her and her husband will be so awesome with this new family. They will. Also, they have both sets of grandparents living very near by and they are very involved and supportive and helpful. So they will be fine. It’s going to be so much fun. To quote Eve, “TWINS ARE AWESOME!” And of course they ARE awesome. I mean there is something very cool and special about twins. We’ve never had a set in our immediate family (my cousin has them on the other side which is why it was genetically possible for her to have them). I predict that these twins are going to be a very popular addition to our family indeed. I imagine that they will be similar to the Weasley Twins in Harry Potter. Also, I’m so excited that Dup Jr. is now going to have TWO little buddies to pal around with. Thank god he’ll have a couple of months on them or they would pulverize him. Apparently the ultra sound technician informed my cousin and her husband that they were head butting each other in the womb. Oh my.

Alright babies. It’s babies, babies, babies all the time this year. A shout out to Jesse and James, Zoe and Yehuda, Ari and Brent, Brian and Heather for giving birth to their little adorable guys in the last two months. Now, I believe that I’m next. Whoa Nellie. Here we go. Life as I know it, they say, is about to change. Well, bring it on. Bring it on.

Dup hates cats...

Dup sometimes has horrible nightmares, usually someone scary is chasing him. He will start moaning in his sleep and then almost yell and wake himself up or I will wake him up and he'll grab on to me. The emotion surrounding these events is pure terror. I feel so bad for him when it happens. I just shush him and tell him it was a dream and he goes back to sleep. I always ask him if he remembers what it was that he was dreaming about and he'll tell me before he drifts back off.

So last night in an unprecedented moment of terror, Dup screamed himself awake in one short burst. He was truly terrified and it scared the shit out of me too. I was like, "OH MY GOD, Dup what were you dreaming about?!" His one word response before he went immediately back to sleep was, "CATS!"

Oh dear lord. He went back to sleep really quickly but I couldn't go back to sleep because I was laughing so hard. I kept thinking to myself, "Does he mean the animals or the musical?" and then this morning, I reminded him and he told me that he was at an old abandoned farm sort of place and there were these cats everywhere and they were trying to get him.

This does sound scary...