not sleeping

I have a horrible cough. I never get insomnia but here I am typing a blog entry at 1:25am. As soon as I get sleepy enough to stop coughing and lay down I'm sure Jasper will wake up or Davey will, they are working together in a plot to destroy me.

I am very tired and I've gotten sick because of it but besides that things are going very well, not without major challenges but very well. Jasper is a doll and I'm more in love with him every day. He has hair color that I would kill to recreate in a salon. He smiles in his sleep. It's so so so nice to be home with my guys. The mornings are crazy, even with two of us. Getting out of the house is a gargantuan task involving 2 diaper bags fully stocked and apocalypse ready. Poor Eliott is getting even fewer long walks but the 3 times we've attempted to go out as a family have proven to be not fun for anyone involved. With the dog, we are out numbered...

Davey is doing well but he's been through it, is still... going through it. He started day care in September, has been fighting the same cough I have for 2 months, those little day care kiddos just keep giving it back to each other. The adjustment to day care has been tough. And then the little brother arrived to great fan fare and Davey was so excited... for about 3 days. Now he is still very sweet with Jasper. I do think that they are kindred spirits destined for friendship. It's just that Davey can't see that the baby will eventually get bigger and be able to DO things, like play with him for instance. Right now all the baby is doing is sucking on mommy's boobies and laying in mommy's lap and demanding a lot of mommy's attention and that is very upsetting to Davey. Poor dearheart. He sits on the couch by himself, waiting for me to finish feeding Jasper, "mommy holdyou" he says all the time which means that he wants me to hold him. He says "holdyou" because I say, "do you want me to hold you?" So he just calls being held, "holdyou." He is a sweet boy and my heart is breaking that he feels rejected by me. It is the worst feeling. BUT he will survive. In the end it's all good for him but for now it's a lot.

Dup and I are doing good. We had a rocky start with a lot of fighting in the first week of Jasper's arrival. We were a little cocky going into it I think, been there, done that and we didn't check in before hand on some major issues, which caused both of us to go to the most familiar bad places in our relationship. This mainly consists of me going into action/attack mode and him going into checking out/going inward mode. Some good talks helped pull us through it. Dup is being awesome and he's working really hard, waking up at 5am with Davey, making meals, cleaning the kitchen, walking the dog, packing diaper bags, playing with Davey, distracting Davey, rocking Jasper, getting us through the day. Then when we all go to bed at 7:30pm, he goes up stairs and does his online teaching gig. I am very grateful to him.

The holidays are around the corner and I go back to work the first week in December. My mom is coming this weekend and then Dup's dad is coming the next weekend and then the next weekend is Thanksgiving and then I have one more weekend and then.... work. That's where the real challenge will present itself. It will present itself to all of us but mostly to Dup. God please be with my husband. The phrase, "how are you going to do this by yourself?" is bandied about several times a day.

Ok, back to bed to cough and keep Dup up and wake up the baby. I'm so worried about Jasper getting sick but they say that the breast milk should protect him since it's not passing along the virus but it does pass along the antibodies to protect him against it. So in a way, it's almost good that I got sick so that I could provide protection for Jasper against the crap that Davey is bringing home from Daycare. I should probably breast feed Dup so that he doesn't get it. I'm sure he wouldn't object. The girls have never looked better and I'm sorry to say that they never will again. Breast augmentation costs like 6-7 thousand I think? We could redo our kitchen with that kind of dough. I mean, it's just never going to happen.

I'll leave you with that. More later hopefully. There's so much to write about. I'm just so tired... xo!

NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE

And loving it.

Jasper Dean Ketchum Bos
Born Tuesday, October 13th at 6:39am.
8lbs, 21 inches

The labor was induced and went really well. So much easier than last time. Davey is being so sweet with his baby brother but also having a really hard time with losing his mommy's full attention. He will be ok but it's heartbreaking too.

More later. Here is the link to Dup's flickr page with more family photos and a few more of Jasper.

xo & YAY!!!!

you must be wondering...

if I'm in labor or something. I am huge and I feel like it could happen at any moment but really, I have 4 weeks to go until my due date. 4 weeks and 3 days to be exact and yes, I am counting. At my last doctor appt. last week I was not dilated at all and he has not dropped down at all either. I was so sure that they were going to say something like, "are you ready to have this baby today?" You hear those stories... but nope! I shouldn't want him to come now. I feel like he would be 100% fine if he came now but he's not even considered full term for another week. We want him to stay in and develop those lungs so that he can come out breathing fully on his own and we can take him home in 2 days with no complications. I keep having to remind myself of this. He may not be ready yet. BUT I AM READY AND I AM THE MOMMY!!!!

When the Galivanting Monkey was about where I am now with her pregnancy she drew this picture of herself as a huge inflated ball with a fork sticking out of her. The caption read, "not in fact, done.... inconceivable" that is how I feel.

He's measuring about 2 weeks ahead they tell me. They guestimate, based on his measurements that he is about 6.5 lbs, this was last week, he could be 39lbs by now. Really though, I think I'm looking at at least another 2 weeks, maybe more and I think I'm looking at having about a 9lb baby. Jesus lord help me please!

The doctor will most likely not let me go past my due date which is October 17th and for this I am glad because I have not interest in going past my due date. I would prefer not to be induced however because it involves taking drugs that make contractions hurt even more than they normally hurt and they hurt quite enough already thank you very much.

My birth plan this time around is to try and labor at home for as long as possible then go to the hospital, see where I'm dialated to, try and make it to at least 6 cm and then get the epidural. If things are progressing very quickly, as they often do with #2 and I think I can do it without the epidural then I will try and do that. We will just have to see. I'm definitely going to be less stubborn about getting the epidural this time though.

So we're close! But it could still be a while. Check here for updates. One really great thing is that we got the baby's room all set up last weekend. It's all painted and curtains hung and crib set up and furniture in place and clothes hanging in the closet and folded in the drawers and little toys sitting on the book case. It's cute people. It's very cute. I'm just waiting for a poster to come back from the framers and then I'll snap a little photo and show you.

Davey is going to day care. He started 2 weeks ago but it's been stop and start partly because of the labor day holiday and partly because he's been sick. All in all though, so far, knock on wood, it's going really well. Dup went with him the whole day on the first day and the second day Dup stayed for a bit and left Davey on his own. The teacher said that he asked for Dup whenever they transitioned from room to room but that he was easily distracted and engaged in play very quickly. She also said that she can understand him very well, which was so nice to hear because I've been worried about that. How will he communicate his needs? Will he know who to go to if he needs something? But he's definitely identified the teacher very quickly. Today he is going a full day on his own which means he will be taking a nap there, theoretically. I will pick him up on my way home at 3:30pm. I'm really looking forward to that because I haven't been able to go at all with him and it will be nice to be able to meet his teacher and have Davey show me around, etc. I've seen the place several times of course when we were choosing it but not since he's been going so it will be nice for him to be able to show me.

I have to get back to work but before I go I wanted to give a shout out to my sistah Jena Cane, who I just found out has been battling CANCER (jesus fucking christ) for the past 3 months. She HAD B-cell non-Hodgkins lymphoma in her lymph system and follicular lymphoma in her bone marrow, whatever the fuck that means, sounds like pure insanity but I stress the HAD because she's been undergoing Chemo and her last scan showed no cancer. GONE.

If you know Jena, or even if you don't, please say a big prayer for her so that she stays cancer free forever and ever. We love this girl too much to even entertain the idea of anything less. Here is a link to her website if you want to hear more about her story and how she is doing:
Jena's Website

File under: Baby, Day Care, Cancer.

Now if that's not the spitting image of Dup....

I don't know what is. Look at that profile? This child is going to look just like his daddy I swear.

So I'm 31 weeks tomorrow but I found out that he's measuring about 2 weeks ahead of schedule so there is a chance that we'll go early, hopefully naturally but possible by being induced. I would prefer that we don't have to get induced but I would also prefer not to give birth to a giant baby. I'm trying to keep my head up, remain positive, keep my sunny side of the street perspective on but I have to admit it's becoming more difficult. I'm like a mamma cat. I just want to crawl under the house and wait. I don't want to talk to anyone or do anything and any time something is asked of me it just seems huge. I have to intellectualize everything because if I stuck with my emotions I would be a complete wreck.

I am getting very very excited though. Truly! It just seems far and it's not. It's very close. 9 weeks. Maybe less. That's not a long time. Right?

I need to go through all of his clothes this weekend. That will help. Get that set up. We have everything ready to go, room painted, it just needs to be set up and put in order. I've gotten just about everything for free except our double stroller, which I bought today with the help of my mom and a friend at work who insisted on chipping in. It's a fantastic stroller and I can't wait to ride in it.

Everything else was either given to us or lent to us by someone. I'm talking Bassinet, Portable Crib, Full Sized Crib, dresser w/Changing table, Infant Car Seat, Swing, Excersaucer, Jumparoo and about 4 sacks of really great baby boy clothes, like garbage sacks full. CRAZY!! Very lucky. Very fortunate. Thanks to every one who donated your gently used items to our very worthy cause. This poor child will not know a new thing in his entire life.

I did buy a used baby sling off craigslist and now, the stroller new but compared to the craziness of stuff we got for Davey, it's been a very frugal affair.

Oh and yesterday I bought some bottles. So really the only thing left to buy is new born diapers. Crazy Town. We're ready.

I do have to make the curtains for his room. Did I show you the fabric? We're definitely going with Cowboy theme and here's what the curtains are going to be: CURTAIN FABRIC LINK

Isn't that A-dorable? Yes, boys stuff can be cute. Not as cute but still cute.

9 weeks. Lord give me strength!

what's been going on?

So much has happened. Davey turned 2 years old on July 27th. We went up to my mom's house to celebrate. He got a balance bike w/helmet, a Curious George Back pack with matching lunch box, a Buzz Doll and a Woody Doll from Toy Story (he's partial to Buzz, go figure). He got a monkey b-day cake, which he loved. We took him to this little water park by my mom's and had a nice day. They have a huge toddler area with lots of little pint size slides. Davey's cousins played with him all day and he had a blast. Now he's 2! If you ask Davey how old he is he will immediately respond, "two!" But if you don't want your vision of him as a genius to be shattered then don't ask him what his name is right after that because it gets the same response, "two!" He loves to do this because it gets a laugh every time. He's starting to figure out how to make us laugh and the power that goes along with that, which I love of course. Any time he does something intentionally funny, that's definitely when I'm the most proud. That is, if it's actually funny. If he tries to be funny and no one laughs, I spank him and lock him in his room.

Another really fun thing was that our Thursday playgroup threw Davey a little impromptu b-day party complete with presents and cupcakes. It was so cute. All of the kids were so sweet to him. Then in a crazy twist of fate, right in the middle of our little gathering the Fire Department showed up to do a drill in our complex. They were training a new fire fighter. So all of the kids swarmed around the truck and the Sergeant was so cool. He talked to them, explained what they were doing and why, let them touch the truck and then he told them to stand back and where they could sit to watch. Then the fire fighters did this whole mock fire in front of us, in full gear, running with the hoses and everything. The kids just sat there positively stunned, eyes big as pizzas. What is it with little kids and fireman? They LOVE THEM. One of the older little girls, like 7 said, "Oh my gosh, I can barely breathe!" It was so hilarious. So what an awesome addition to Davey's little play date b-day party. So fun.

What else, we got a new couch. We can't afford it but we did it anyway. We had to get it. Our old one was really a luv seat and we couldn't all sit on it together and it was just horrible. I cashed out part of a 401k I have sitting at an old job and just bought it. I told Dup, "I'm just buying this couch we have to." and he just said, "fine." You know it's bad when Dup agrees to something like cashing out a 401k. The new couch is awesome. It was cheap but it's new and it looks great in the space, fits great and most importantly fits us. We are so happy.

What else? I'm fucking pregnant as hell people. When people ask me when my due date is now, instead of saying, "October Seventeenth", I say, "10 weeks and one day." Tomorrow I can say 10 weeks and on Saturday I will be 30 weeks, so I can say "nine weeks and six days." Once I get down into the single digits, I think that will help. It will seem manageable. October? I can't even say the word. It's just too far away... BUT, it will be here. Yes it will come. Time always moves forward. The moment always arrives. I'm very excited, very, very excited to meet this little dude living in my belly and kicking the crap out of me 10 minutes out of every hour. Last night was comical he was kicking me so hard. I think he wants out. I keep telling him that if he wants to come a couple of weeks early, that's fine by me. I could go for a nice little 6-7 pounder this time! Thank you very much. But stay in there a little while longer, at least 6 more weeks and then, whenever you're ready!

Craigslist Winner

We're selling our couch on craigslist. I placed this ad:

This couch has served us very well but we need something bigger in our new space. It's really more like a love seat, 66 " across, fits 2 people comfortably. The arms are a bit worn but it has no tears and the cushion covers are machine washable. It folds out into a double bed. The matress is quite comfortable. We can not deliver. Pick up only. We live on the second floor so there is one flight of stairs to go down. It will take 2 people to carry. Serious inquiries only please! Thanks.

I received this inquiry today:

Hi! I saw your listing on Craiglist and am interested in the sleeper couch. What is the condition of the couch and would it be able to fit into a regular honda accord car? Thanks!

Will it fit into a Honda Accord? Um, nooooooo because it's a couch you IDIOT!

We actually sold it pretty quickly. The guy is picking it up today (knock on wood). He will be bringing a friend and a van, not a sedan.

Before and After